Sit Down, Martha, I Mean Sit Down, Alicia

Anxieties over the things of this life have become debilitating as of late. I have been napping almost every day. I have had trouble sleeping almost every night. I cannot concentrate. I am forgetting the simplest things. I am canceling plans with friends. I have not been going to church. I have been living in fear, waiting for the next shoe to drop. Friday, that shoe dropped but I did not die. I panicked at first, almost thinking I would, that the world would come to an end however my anxiety decreased because the thing I had been fearing happened and I was still okay. If anything I was more than okay now because when this thing happened I finally asked for help. My family, friends, brothers, and sisters in Christ were there to encourage me, pray for me, and point me to the One waiting for me to come to Him for comfort instead of the things of this world that may comfort me for a moment but will never satisfy my soul the way He can and will. 

For many years I have thought of starting a blog. Not because it was trendy at the time but because those that know me know I have so very many words and I am definitely a verbal processor. Who knew, anxiety can cause one to be overly talkative. This explains a lot. Fear has kept me from writing this blog because of anxiety related to fear of man and rejection, especially in a time of cancel culture, which just solidified my fear even more. I also didn't want to struggle with sin while writing. I didn't want to be puffed up with pride if I received a compliment about something I wrote. Talk about getting the cart before the horse. This has happened before. 

The first title I chose for the blog was Truth or Snare because I have realized a lot of my anxieties come from hearing and even believing lies from the evil one about who I am. I thought if I focused on recognizing the lies I could outsmart him and catch him before I believed the lie. The thing I didn't realize is the way you fight lies is by knowing the truth. I spent more time trying to recognize satan (I refuse to even capitalize his name) than I was getting to know my Father. The second title I chose was Sit Down Martha. This came to me while listening to a podcast one day. The hosts and guests were talking about the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible when they had Jesus over to their home. Here is the scripture:

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 ESV

I have definitely been Martha most days of my life. Looking back, I remember being a horrible example to my children of a Christ-follower, stressing and flittering about trying to prepare my house for others to come over for our church community group each week. Why you may ask? Because, at the time, my heart believed it was more important for my house to be clean and tidy before they got here rather than being an example of Mary to my children. Mary chose the good portion. Am I saying that we should never clean our houses? No, but never at the expense of hurting our witness to others or missing out on a chance to sit at the feet of Jesus. So what I am saying is. Sit Down, Martha! Sit Down, Alicia! Sit Down ...! Stop running around trying to fix your life, your kids' lives, your house, your job, your sin struggle, your past, your marriage, your kitchen sink, the speck in your neighbor's eye, and sit at Jesus's feet. He patiently waits for you to find rest and peace in His free grace and goodness.

Oh, don’t believe the lie that Jesus only came for the Marys of this world! He came for the Marys and the Marthas!